


Shower time

by enbylovesferengis (obviouslyelementary)



Series: The unwilling prince and the prophet's chosen [3]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bad Flirting, Cardassia, Cardassia Rebellion, Cardassians, Crack, Damar is an idiot, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Funny, Gen, No Angst, Not Beta Read, Not Serious, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Rebellion, Showers, also kinda inner homophobia, by damar's part, cardassians are slightly homophobes, more like awful flirting, season 7, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26856838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/enbylovesferengis
Summary: They have a rule during shower hours: no peaking.
Relationships: (IMPLIED), (one sided), Damar & Elim Garak & Kira Nerys, Damar & Kira Nerys, Damar/Kira Nerys, Elim Garak & Kira Nerys, Elim Garak & Mila Garak, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Series: The unwilling prince and the prophet's chosen [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959145
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'm dumb. This is dumb. I'm in love

They had invented quite a routine while in Mila's basement in Cardassia Prime. What they did all day long was wait for news and plan next assaults, if they ever came to pass. They woke up with a nice plate of food, courtesy of Mila herself, and maybe a few comments from the woman saying how much the people in the streets seemed convinced that their savior was still alive, plotting and planning in the shadows. It was quite ironic how right they were, despite the circumstances. But Kira knew it could be worst, very worst.

Considering the three of them shared the same basement for almost a month now, some rules had to be made. For Kira's own sake, she was well aware that Garak was not interested in women, much less in bajoran women, and that gave her a slight confidence that he would not be staring if she changed or showered with him around. They didn't have much space after all, and the so called 'showers' were actually pots of water that Mila brought up, with some soap and sometimes some cream or lotion. It wouldn't be all bad, if they had a separate room to clean up, but since they hadn't, and none of them could leave just for the sake of the others, they just had to make do.

So yes, Garak wasn't a big concern, but Damar was a constant incognita. The fact was, back when they first met, Damar was the most disgusted cardassian Kira had ever met when it came to bajorans. Some of the officers, while working on Deep Space Nine, ended up wanting some mistresses and even some found themselves lucky enough to have them for free (after all, Kira could stop rapes and assaults but if some random bajoran wanted to have sex with a cardassian, well, she could only pray for them). Damar, however, not only never showed any interest, but also complained constantly about his compatriots' taste in partners. It was clear that a bajoran was not what the man had in mind for his ideal bed companion, and she was glad that was the case at the time. However, now, they were alone, the three of them, without any contact with other people, and while sex wasn't a priority at all, well, it was a need from time to time.

Back in her days in the rebellion, it was very usual to have people having sex every now and then, to take away the stress. It was quite useful too, it usually calmed them down and boasted moral, for some reason. She didn't understand why, although she knew very well it did. So, she was a bit nervous about Damar watching her while she bathed or changed, even if she hadn't yet caught him on the act. Because while he had never shown any interest in bajorans, he had also never shown interest in men, so she couldn't really expect to catch him watching Garak or anything like it.

It was, however, a funny thought to have whenever she got nervous, to imagine Damar being just as awkward as her by imagining Garak watching him. She knew the old spy had only eyes for a certain human doctor, but again, they were alone for almost a month now.

Who knew what could happen to cardassian hormones in that time?

So, they made a deal, a pact. They would never watch, never ask or say anything during shower hours. And she usually pulled the bucket as far away from the light as possible, to have some privacy. At least she did in the first week. After that, it was more of an hassle than anything. The cardassians didn't bother: Garak actually seemed to never shower, not that she ever saw, probably because he waited until they were asleep to do so; and Damar, well, he just... did it. Very soldier of him, actually. He didn’t even wait for her and Garak to turn, or Mila to leave the room, he just undressed and got on with it. Sometimes, Kira caught Mila staring, and she couldn't help but smile in delight. Apparently, Damar was attractive to cardassian standards. Or at least he was to Mila.

One day, however, the whole process became a little more personal than she intended. As usual, Mila brought them the buckets, and Damar went on with it. Kira made sure to turn around the moment he moved, while Garak remained at his station, working tirelessly in his communication device. Mila, instead of watching a little and leaving, decided to sit down next to Kira and nudge her gently.

"I may be intruding in something I shouldn't, but perhaps you should take a look" she offered, in a way that surely wasn’t innocent. It was so loudly malicious, in fact, that Garak had to stop and look up at her with confusion and slight disgust in his face.

"Mila, what are you insinuating?" he asked, before Kira could say anything, and she was glad because she was blushing and also unsure what to say. "Have you become an immoralist while I was away?"

"Oh please, Elim, don't be so rude. I have never been prude, and I won't start now" Mila responded, and even though they were talking quietly, only the sounds of Damar splashing water around was stopping them from being heard. "You three are stuck here together, and it isn't a bad thing, to look."

"She is not interested in cardassians, Mila, and honestly neither should you in your old age" Garak responded, and Kira held back an awkward chuckle. It was like a son talking to his mother. Mila rolled her eyes, however, and nudged Kira gently on the shoulder.

"It's just a peak, nothing rude" she assured, and Garak rolled his eyes, going back to his communicator. However Kira did see a quick flash of his eyes checking his surroundings out.

"No, thank you. I'm fine" she answered, but Mila gave her a look that was so motherly that she sighed. "Fine. Fine" she agreed, wanting to get this over with, and Mila smiled while turning her head to see. Kira took a second, before she did the same, going against her own rule.

Well, it was a cardassian alright.

Luckily, Kira had never been graced with the sight of a naked cardassian before this very awkward moment, but now, well, she had. And if she had ever imagined what they looked like naked, what she saw would pretty much confirm it.

Their skin was gray all over their body. They had scales over their spine, over their arms, down their legs... Pretty much everywhere she looked, there were scales. Funny enough their butts didn't have scales. Bad adaptation, perhaps. Damar didn't turn around, for her own sake, but she guessed he would have scales on his chest too.

So scaly.

"So?" Mila asked, and Kira almost punched her. Honestly she was fine and all, but she was very motherly, and it was a bit annoying. "What do you think?"

"The only cardassian I've ever seen like this" she said, and turned back around, picking up her PADD to continue with her plans. "Two out of ten, I guess."

"What? If you think legade Damar is a two, what would you think of Garak?" she asked, surprised, and Garak looked up at her again, angry this time.

"Mila that is enough" he said, firmly, and Kira raised her eyebrow.

"I would give Garak a five out of ten. At least he never tried to kill me" she said, and winked to Garak to make sure he knew she was not uncomfortable. And he nodded to her, returning to his duties, while Mila sighed and shook her head, making her way out of the basement.

"I will see you in the morning!"

\-------------------

Later in the evening, after both she and Damar had finished bathing, the three of them got together to eat their meals and talk a little. Well, they usually talked a little, but that night they were all just quiet, and Kira was trying to push down that fish-like thing Mila served them every day.

It was beginning to become harder to even put it in her mouth.

Eventually, someone did open their mouth to talk, and Kira wished he hadn't.

"So, coronel" Damar said, eating his food and making her look at him, waiting for his words "I am a two out of ten?"

Oh no.

"What?" she asked, almost choking on her food, and even Garak who had been working on his comms still lifted his head, surprised and slightly confused. She looked at Damar, and she could see the slight smirk on his face.

"This basement isn't very noisy, you know? I could hear everything you three said" he said, looking up at her, and behind the amusement in his eyes there was also some offense, or something like that. "Like how you consider me a two out of ten."

"I'm beginning to reconsider as a zero" she said, coldly, and Garak just stared at them in silence, as they usually did, expecting trouble. Damar let out a chuckle that made her blood boil, and shook his head.

"I was surprised you didn't consider me a zero right away! Honestly, it would have been better. Two means you had time to think, and found me disposable" he said, raising his eye scales, and she furrowed her eyebrows in response.

"Are you offended, Damar, that I don't find you attractive?" she pushed, and he shook his head.

"No, I never thought you would. I am offended because you broke your own rule" he said, looking at her. "No watching, remember?"

"You don't even try not to be watched. You bathe in the middle of the room, right under the light" she said, angrily, and honestly what was this fight becoming? It was such a stupid reasoning. "Besides, I didn't want Mila to keep annoying me, so I did what she asked. I would have never looked otherwise."

"But you did anyway."

"Damar, what is your point? Do you want to watch me bathe? Is that it?" she asked angrily, because it was the only reason why she could imagine he brought it up. But when he looked at her, surprised, she noticed that maybe she was wrong.

"Um... no" he said, looking away from her, and then shrugging slightly. "I... just thought it was funny, that's all" he added, and it was soft and weird and she had to look at Garak to make sure he had any idea why Damar was doing that. The legade then groaned and shook his head, pushing the food away. "Sorry. I'm tired, I'm not thinking straight. I should sleep."

And just like that, he walked away, laying on his bunk and turning away from them. It left Kira even more confused, and when she looked at Garak, he nodded for her to come closer. She did, and he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Remember when I told you that cardassians flirt by arguing?" he whispered, and her eyes widened. "I think that was a clear demonstration that legade Damar is not very good at it."

Kira looked at Garak surprised, and then at Damar's back offended, before she shook her head and continued to eat.

He was flirting with her?

Kira rubbed her eyes and ridges on her nose and wondered, for the tenth time in the last days, what she was doing there. Saving the Alpha Quadrant, she reminded herself, but honestly was it worth it, to spend some unknown amount of time with the most idiotic cardassians she had ever met?

Maybe she was going crazy, but she couldn't help but chuckle.

Oh, she was definitely going crazy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the homophobia part is for this chapter but it's very very light i promise

Maybe they would have talked right away if he hadn't been a complete idiot and she hadn't, well, been herself. Considering that he was an idiot and she was herself, Damar left to bed early without making any questions about what he wanted to know, and Kira moved on with her evening just as she would otherwise. She finished eating, brushed her teeth and went to bed, closing her eyes to get some sleep at least. It wasn't easy, not with that hot weather and the weird company of two cardassians, but she was managing, and she could at least trust one of them.

She was beginning to learn how to trust Garak, though, so soon it would be two.

But even if they didn't talk that exact evening, due to Damar's embarrassment, they did talk in the following day, by the time Garak left to make a round through the streets. While he was gone, Kira made sure to wash her own clothes, and without any warning Damar suddenly sat next to her, making her look at him slightly annoyed.

"I will not wash your clothes for you" she said, firmly, and turned back to her own shirt, rubbing it fiercely against itself. He remained quiet for a moment, and she was about to ask him what was happening when he opened his mouth to speak.

"Do you think... Garak is attracted to me?" he asked, and it was the most out of the blue question she had ever received. She stopped, and slowly turned her head back towards him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He looked back at her with a somewhat worried expression.

Neither of them talked for a second.

"What?" she asked, putting her shirt into the water, and he sighed deeply, shaking his head.

"I was wondering if... do you think Garak is attracted to me?" he asked again, and this time she was sure she heard it right.

"How... what do you want me to answer?" she asked, and he looked at her confused. "I mean, do you want him to be attracted to you?"

"No! No-I mean... no, I don't, I just want you to answer what you think" Damar said, and if the lights weren't so dim in the basement where they lived, she would swear she saw his cheeks growing darker grey. "Do you think he is?"

"Well, I don't know" she said, shrugging, going back to her washing. So she was right, he was self conscious about Garak watching him. This probably came up because of last evening's conversations. It was funny. "Why don't you ask him?"

"Ask him? Are you crazy?" he asked angrily, and shook his head. "No, I will not. Truth is, any cardassian that spent two minutes with him would know he is not attracted to women, which make this all the more uncomfortable."

"How would you even know that?" Kira asked, becoming slightly offended in her friend's (friend? Since when?) behalf. "Is there a specific scale in his body that shows off he likes men? Because I surely never saw it."

"No, it's the way he talks" Damar said, and before she could respond, he rose his hand. "I just want to know if he watches me. I don't want to explain my cultural and moral point of view towards his... attractions."

"I always knew cardassians were bad, but really? That is over ancient, even humans are over prejudice against same gender couples" she said, and Damar rolled his eyes. "What? Can't have a guy watching you take a shower, Damar? How did you survive the army?"

"Sex is not viewed as a foul act, it is in fact appreciated and beneficial. The problem, coronel, is sentiment. And it usually starts with physical attraction" he explained, or pretended to, because it didn't really make sense. "Just tell me if he watches me and be done with it."

"If he does, what will you do? Bathe while he is away? Huddle away in the dark?" she offered, clearly sarcastic. "What is the problem if he finds you attractive? If he watches you? We are all grown ups here."

"Oh really? So I can now watch you, if I allow him to watch me?" Damar asked, raising his eye scales, and she immediately got a defensive posture. "Or is it just fine for you to feel uncomfortable with alien stares?"

Kira was silent for a moment, or perhaps more than a moment. Part of her wanted to just give herself the reason and tell him he could freely watch her, because there was no issue in it. However, an even bigger part of her would hate to be watched by a cardassian (any cardassian) while she was naked and vulnerable. So, unfortunately, she would have to hand him this victory.

"No, he doesn't watch you. I don't think he is attracted to you, and even if he was, he is a relationship with Julian Bashir, our doctor" she said, firmly, because it wasn't any secret now. And honestly, who would Damar tell? He looked at her, however, surprised.

"Is this... doctor of yours a human?" he asked, and she nodded. "Oh... so Garak has lowered his tastes even further."

"It's not a matter of taste. They love each other. At least, Julian loves him. I never know what Garak thinks, let alone what he feels" she said, shaking her head and going back to her laundry. "Don't worry, he isn't watching you while you bathe. Neither am I. Your bath is all your business."

"Well, good" he said, but behind that affirmation he sounded slightly disappointed. She kept it for herself, however. "I will go back to planning then."

"Be my guest" she said, and watched him as he got up and walked back to his bunk to work on his plans and plots.

Kira chuckled.

Cardassians.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? Kudos? Pls?


End file.
